Plague

I had a dream that I lost her,

The light left and I was forced to rekindle my flame in this new darkness,

I had a dream that I saw her, bewildered and heartless,

We had to be stuck in the same cage,

Because I could feel her breath on my shoulder,

The breath began to go colder and her eyes began to glow bright red,

She was trying to wake the dead-

Feeling of abandonment but bred injustice instead,

She was between two nexuses I didn’t care about,

I began to shout-

In the dark,

Trying to keep my spark,

From being consumed by her stark-

Attempts to swallow me whole.

 

I woke up,

To the bells of my alarm clock,

Completely sweaty, completely still in shock,

I could not believe,

That another person convinced me I didn’t need to breath,

That another person made my wants feel like my needs,

I couldn’t believe,

That I would be force-fed an understanding I simply could not conceive,

A plight of reality of knowledge,

A pain held on my ribs,

I got up to work…

Getting dressed with my eyes closed…

 

Forever

The ties to my devil,
Severed at every level,
I repent for gloating,
I abstain from hoping,
Too hard in triumphant day,
While my demons still remain in way,
Of what is to come,
I am not yet numb,
But healing.

I force my paces unset,
From paths I haven’t walked yet,
But seen with watery eyes,
I have broken the habit of questioning to what I know I’ve been tied,
Not until now have I tried,
To actually look beyond my burning grounds and old skies,
I have slowly halted the perpetual, one word at a time.

Now I stand along the edges of commitment to a better woman,
More complete,
Not tempted to compete –
With outstanding facts contradicting her emotion,
I stand by a more beautiful commotion,
A more final devotion,
To irrefutable evidence of betterment,
…Forever.

Zap

She,
Touching deeper than my skin,
Below calluses and thick,
Reaching for that one wicked mix of scorn and doubt,
To be crushed in her palms,
End the drought,
Break the dam, create the calm,
Make me shout!…

From their gentle tips,
Give tranquility and peace,
To the strips of me that fall to her little feet,
And when I am full, she provides me with supple joy to eat,
Along with meat-
Of certainty and we-
Unfold,
And I,
Weep in sight of her pure soul.

The Lack of Faith

Another demonstration of excellence,

This time…without my eyes I see,

Evidence of God in woman,

Her nobility shown on skin.

I am hung by my nerves as she stings the endings,

Beaconing me nigh inside the realm of her energy,

She grasps my soul,

To remind me I am scorned,.

Salvation by infatuation with the happiness I know she can offer,

Faith,

To which I’ve a many year lacked,

Playing the game of love,

Strumming the harp of discord,

What is given to me,

What is given to us,

I cannot deny,

The aggression of beauty,

Present and blinding,

This time….without my eyes,

I see,

With the pain that I possess,

His presence.

I will petrify at her feet to wonder what would become of me while small inside her arms,

Free and unstressed,

Undone and undone,

To which do I pursue,

An eternal question.

Now Numb

First, think –
Of what transpires with the severance-
Of the thin strings that hold together realism-
In your mind.

Secondly, imagine,
What chaos would slam heavy on your chest when you are forced to remove the comfort of rationalization,
The ever-justifying house will concave at its base,
Throwing thoughts askew.

Lastly, emote,
Feel the gravity of problematic decision,
Ripen with feelings of disappointment and allow the discomfort,
Stare toward your walls, understand young girl that you are trapped-
With a man on your mind, until the last of your life,
Until what you know of time dusts with your wrinkled skin and as you stare your new husband in his pouting eyes,
Get close, pull him in, and scream in his ear “I am alone!!!”,
He will not know the reason because he is there,
And you do not speak of your problems until they become behemoths gnashing at your fragile sanity,
Fuck his understanding, you do not even understand yourself,
A wicked old shrew unhappy of her mistakes-
Doing whatever it takes,
To regain that part of herself running in the opposite direction,
Now, how does it feel?

Modestly

Women with something I do not have,

Not in their jeans,

Not in their shirts.

 

Women with something I cannot grab,

Not locked behind seams,

Not in up into skirts.

 

Women with treasures afresh,

I scream and dance, I pound my chest,

I shout and praise and tend to impress,

The oddly woman in the turquoise dress.

 

I flail around to keep her eye,

She stands her ground to make me try,

I extend my hand to signal noble intent,

She places her palm in mine to show consent.

 

We jest and joke, and dance and hope,

That the night we hold rebuild what broke,

We laugh and cry under dark blue night,

Cerebrating about what we’ve done, and what we might,

 

The night should never end.

The heavy woods breathing on hollowed ground,

The gift of silence, the perfect sound,

The ol’ golden moon, with craters abroad,

With simple pleasures, and gentle chest nods,

The night should never end.

 

The night should never end,

Because tomorrow brings another mystery,

One night with a queen,

The queen of her riches, the hankered unseen,

I’ve found the thing I cannot say,

That keeps me vivacious throughout the day,

Modesty.

Doggy

To be replaced by a dog,
An inadequate substitution,
With no challenging dialogue,
A canine hired for platonic prostitution.

He cannot firmly disagree,
He cannot firmly encompass me,
A desperately pitiful pompous plea,
To force herself to get over me.

Poor doggy, beaten with thoughtless words,
Spoken from a harpy chasing birds,
To be stabbed in their chirping hearts and hatefully served-
To poor doggy,
The blood would probably-
Make the meat soggy,
I mean the beak’s body,
I mean the beak soggy…
Ugh,
To be replaced by a fucking dog,
I should go choke the fucking thing,
Fuckless.