Our Sanctuary

As the houses burn around us, we try to save our own. We build defenses of formidable measure to withstand the most perilous of onslaughts. We fortify our roofs with unbreakable ethics and stay true to our shelter. We stay away from our windows because they show us what we must do without; the pain and misery outside those doors deal great damage to our exposed exteriors. We craft our success to persevere through the fact of eventual failure.

We’ve pointed out spades of errors in the integrity of our fellowmen’s houses…we pledge not to make those same mistakes. I have one other, one other person in this bout of foul play, I stare my darling in her eyes as she set flames to our drapes boding slow death to our sanctuary, she was freezing and needed a heat my body could not provide. The chandeliers fall to the ground and burst into glass cutting chunks of fresh meet from my sensitive legs. I stare my darling in her eyes, I stare my darling in her eyes, I stare my darling…in her eyes as she promises forever…confounding reason with flames. I beg my beloved, who which has the power to remove, these flames from our haven, to not mimic the shortcomings of her friends, I beg my beloved to make eternal peace with her heart and not temporary splendors with her actions. I beg my beloved to think about her honor and truth, for these virtues can rebuild our home. I fear the weight of a vexing plight and allure of a false tomorrow may fill her lungs with that cinnamon smoke, and that is when…I will lose her.

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A Laugh

I am surrounded by tickled people,

And on my best day,

I cannot remember to laugh at the joke,

It’s something I can’t say,

Something about womenfolk that onsets the chuckles.

I am surrounded by gentlemen,

Upstanding and true-

That are arrested by the prospects of romanticism and chivalry,

It is ostensibly present in everything that they do,

This ensues a respect for women that some would call extinct,

But while these attributes lay closely with nobility,

The different hearts of their companions crush their potential,

The ship sinks for those men upholding civility,

They are no longer deemed essential and collapse under the desires of their lady,

Their hearts are second because nobility exclaims it.

I see this men giggling over their corrosion as they begin to lose themselves,

With her feet on his chest he rests in chaos and wakes in pain,

Everyday,

For this, I cannot laugh.

 

 

 

Plague

I had a dream that I lost her,

The light left and I was forced to rekindle my flame in this new darkness,

I had a dream that I saw her, bewildered and heartless,

We had to be stuck in the same cage,

Because I could feel her breath on my shoulder,

The breath began to go colder and her eyes began to glow bright red,

She was trying to wake the dead-

Feeling of abandonment but bred injustice instead,

She was between two nexuses I didn’t care about,

I began to shout-

In the dark,

Trying to keep my spark,

From being consumed by her stark-

Attempts to swallow me whole.

 

I woke up,

To the bells of my alarm clock,

Completely sweaty, completely still in shock,

I could not believe,

That another person convinced me I didn’t need to breath,

That another person made my wants feel like my needs,

I couldn’t believe,

That I would be force-fed an understanding I simply could not conceive,

A plight of reality of knowledge,

A pain held on my ribs,

I got up to work…

Getting dressed with my eyes closed…

 

Forever

The ties to my devil,
Severed at every level,
I repent for gloating,
I abstain from hoping,
Too hard in triumphant day,
While my demons still remain in way,
Of what is to come,
I am not yet numb,
But healing.

I force my paces unset,
From paths I haven’t walked yet,
But seen with watery eyes,
I have broken the habit of questioning to what I know I’ve been tied,
Not until now have I tried,
To actually look beyond my burning grounds and old skies,
I have slowly halted the perpetual, one word at a time.

Now I stand along the edges of commitment to a better woman,
More complete,
Not tempted to compete –
With outstanding facts contradicting her emotion,
I stand by a more beautiful commotion,
A more final devotion,
To irrefutable evidence of betterment,
…Forever.

Zap

She,
Touching deeper than my skin,
Below calluses and thick,
Reaching for that one wicked mix of scorn and doubt,
To be crushed in her palms,
End the drought,
Break the dam, create the calm,
Make me shout!…

From their gentle tips,
Give tranquility and peace,
To the strips of me that fall to her little feet,
And when I am full, she provides me with supple joy to eat,
Along with meat-
Of certainty and we-
Unfold,
And I,
Weep in sight of her pure soul.

The Lack of Faith

Another demonstration of excellence,

This time…without my eyes I see,

Evidence of God in woman,

Her nobility shown on skin.

I am hung by my nerves as she stings the endings,

Beaconing me nigh inside the realm of her energy,

She grasps my soul,

To remind me I am scorned,.

Salvation by infatuation with the happiness I know she can offer,

Faith,

To which I’ve a many year lacked,

Playing the game of love,

Strumming the harp of discord,

What is given to me,

What is given to us,

I cannot deny,

The aggression of beauty,

Present and blinding,

This time….without my eyes,

I see,

With the pain that I possess,

His presence.

I will petrify at her feet to wonder what would become of me while small inside her arms,

Free and unstressed,

Undone and undone,

To which do I pursue,

An eternal question.

Now Numb

First, think –
Of what transpires with the severance-
Of the thin strings that hold together realism-
In your mind.

Secondly, imagine,
What chaos would slam heavy on your chest when you are forced to remove the comfort of rationalization,
The ever-justifying house will concave at its base,
Throwing thoughts askew.

Lastly, emote,
Feel the gravity of problematic decision,
Ripen with feelings of disappointment and allow the discomfort,
Stare toward your walls, understand young girl that you are trapped-
With a man on your mind, until the last of your life,
Until what you know of time dusts with your wrinkled skin and as you stare your new husband in his pouting eyes,
Get close, pull him in, and scream in his ear “I am alone!!!”,
He will not know the reason because he is there,
And you do not speak of your problems until they become behemoths gnashing at your fragile sanity,
Fuck his understanding, you do not even understand yourself,
A wicked old shrew unhappy of her mistakes-
Doing whatever it takes,
To regain that part of herself running in the opposite direction,
Now, how does it feel?