White

She showed me a video of a deranged artist,

She asked me if that was a fate I wanted to meet,

I politely declined,

We were unsure if he was losing his soul or losing his mind,

The anxiety of imperfection taxed his fragile fingers and he shook in fear,

I told her of my mercurial methods of avoidance and repeated to ensure my message rung clear.

 

His floor teemed with splattered canvases thrown in his fits,

The would chop his palette in attempt to mix his expectations with truth,

The board would bleed red like a severed tooth…

From the head,

He would glare and expect,

He would stand from his office chair to reflect,

On his mistakes,

He would grip the edge of his office table to stop his hand from shak-

ing,

He would bring, he would offer new color to the mix,

and repeat.
She told me that that kingdom had no king,

That I must unite my thoughts to concentrate them into a bullet to fire into the standing wall of my indecision,

Which drove my implacable thrust for meaningless variety,

Lest I’ll find my lesser self smashing colors into one another.

 

I guess she was talking about focus married with dedication in a manner impervious to external influences,

Such as those heinous devices garbed in petite structures,

Those snakes waiting to snap,

A defense against the dangerous few…

…unfortunately those sick folk captured my interest in which I demonstrated in blue and red,

Which I mixed with my expectations for their betterment,

gray,

Despite my whole heart,

They remained in holes.

 

Maybe my expectations are actually yellow,

Or wait no probably orange,

Or maybe white…

Yeah white.

 

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Dream 2

Smoke filled the area of my room,
She appeared in white garbs,
She fell sickly into my arms biting her tongue on the collapse,
She bulged her eyes with heavy tears that weighed down my chest,
I stared into her brown eyes and caught the storm in soul,
I reached inside her ribs to grab the pain from her breast and held remarkably tight,
My knee kept behind her head,
I took my hands from her pain and wrapped my arms her,
And held softly,
Her brown skin combusted into tan dust,
I scooped in my palms trying to capture her remains,
Instantly my life changed,
Instantly my fight changed,
Changed from fighting for her into fighting to stay sane,
Her storm moved to me,
My bones rained the water of her memories that remain plastered on my forehead and constantly sitting on my brain.
I have lost her again.

Dream 2.

A Laugh

I am surrounded by tickled people,

And on my best day,

I cannot remember to laugh at the joke,

It’s something I can’t say,

Something about womenfolk that onsets the chuckles.

I am surrounded by gentlemen,

Upstanding and true-

That are arrested by the prospects of romanticism and chivalry,

It is ostensibly present in everything that they do,

This ensues a respect for women that some would call extinct,

But while these attributes lay closely with nobility,

The different hearts of their companions crush their potential,

The ship sinks for those men upholding civility,

They are no longer deemed essential and collapse under the desires of their lady,

Their hearts are second because nobility exclaims it.

I see this men giggling over their corrosion as they begin to lose themselves,

With her feet on his chest he rests in chaos and wakes in pain,

Everyday,

For this, I cannot laugh.

 

 

 

Plague

I had a dream that I lost her,

The light left and I was forced to rekindle my flame in this new darkness,

I had a dream that I saw her, bewildered and heartless,

We had to be stuck in the same cage,

Because I could feel her breath on my shoulder,

The breath began to go colder and her eyes began to glow bright red,

She was trying to wake the dead-

Feeling of abandonment but bred injustice instead,

She was between two nexuses I didn’t care about,

I began to shout-

In the dark,

Trying to keep my spark,

From being consumed by her stark-

Attempts to swallow me whole.

 

I woke up,

To the bells of my alarm clock,

Completely sweaty, completely still in shock,

I could not believe,

That another person convinced me I didn’t need to breath,

That another person made my wants feel like my needs,

I couldn’t believe,

That I would be force-fed an understanding I simply could not conceive,

A plight of reality of knowledge,

A pain held on my ribs,

I got up to work…

Getting dressed with my eyes closed…