Now Numb

First, think –
Of what transpires with the severance-
Of the thin strings that hold together realism-
In your mind.

Secondly, imagine,
What chaos would slam heavy on your chest when you are forced to remove the comfort of rationalization,
The ever-justifying house will concave at its base,
Throwing thoughts askew.

Lastly, emote,
Feel the gravity of problematic decision,
Ripen with feelings of disappointment and allow the discomfort,
Stare toward your walls, understand young girl that you are trapped-
With a man on your mind, until the last of your life,
Until what you know of time dusts with your wrinkled skin and as you stare your new husband in his pouting eyes,
Get close, pull him in, and scream in his ear “I am alone!!!”,
He will not know the reason because he is there,
And you do not speak of your problems until they become behemoths gnashing at your fragile sanity,
Fuck his understanding, you do not even understand yourself,
A wicked old shrew unhappy of her mistakes-
Doing whatever it takes,
To regain that part of herself running in the opposite direction,
Now, how does it feel?

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