Just Say It

So I lay with my doubts,

As her beauty remains certain, constant,

I am slow to speak,

It has been hours, weeks.

I revolve around the reasons for my silence,

A topic of unworthiness and confidence,

Cause and consequence from a fragile upbringing,

A silence, my ears are ringing,

My heart is pounding, my chest is stinging,

Then she walks away,

I am twenty one years old,

Still yearning to be bold,

Still poking holes in this unfortunately unbroken mold,

Of people’s goals,

To taint a previously golden soul,

With abuse and mishaps and misuse,

Of a closeness formed before youth,

I am tired of facing unfortunate truths,

That no matter how hard I try…I will still be proof,

That some people are wholly bad.

She walks away,

The music has changed to a calming harmony,

The moon is filled partially,

The air is filled with tobacco smoke and dishonesty,

I am unseen in clouds of gray,

I have yet again, missed a chance to say…

Something.

So I now lay with my doubts,

As her beauty remains certain, constant,

I am slow to speak,

It has been hours, I am weak.

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